Today I began to write down my personal experiences regarding how people perceive me.

From the beginning of university I have found that many people have told me I am loud and brash at times.

I began to wonder why people thought this; was I too loud, too sarcastic? I slowly came to the realisation that not all people who study drama are extroverts, and maybe I should learn when to keep my mouth shut.

This brought me onto the medias depiction of aggression, in particular woman. Many articles followed the same idea that Girls from ‘broken homes’ are in fact more likely to become aggressive. This explained a lot. I myself am from a broken home, and was brought up by a single parent, however my mother was never violent, always fair and understanding of other peoples circumstances.

So here it is, the first piece of slam poetry I have ever written;

“I was raised by my mother and yes she knew that for me to stand my ground she’d be there for me too,

She’s got bigger balls than any guy I’ve ever met so before you start preaching just let her get

her point across she’ll tell you how its hard,

raising a kid to be safe and secure with no man around to hold the door.

She deserves the upmost respect and she’s raised me to speak my mind,

never getting violent and always being kind,

so todays the day I’ll let her know those words stuck with me and I’ll never let them go.”

Will this be used my performance? I’m unsure at the moment. With the tech being hard to achieve, and my initial ideas coming back into the picture i need to decide what direction i want the performance to go.

 

After talking to the tech crew following my pervious idea of a live feed, we have come to the conclusion that it is unlikely that the live feed would work. This is because of the amount of wires and things that could go wrong with the Wi-Fi etc.

I have decide that I do not want the risk the quality of the performance, so will come up with an alternative to open the show.

So what do I do now?

I have decided to centre my idea on the difference between men and women. Using quotes, poems and songs to reiterate the importance of equal rights. I know this theme has been done numerous time before, however I want to bring a comical edge to the performance, potentially dressing up as half man half women, exploring the idea through visuals designed for audience members.

I want my performance to also be personal as well as informative.

I have expresses earlier throughout the blog, I have often been labelled as an aggressive woman, someone who can ‘compete’ with a man. What does this mean? yes I stand up for myself, and yes, I will tell you if I don’t like something. but for me, speaking my mind does not deserve to be branded as negative.

 

Have you ever thought about the moments before a show? Either from actor, dancer, singer or comedian. The dressing room antics; warming up voices, stretching limbs, going over jokes.

What does it feel like?

Is it a glamour part of the industry where the makeup and sparkle costumes are applied? Or is it a zone for sheer panic, apprehension and nerves?

I guess when going to see a show you don’t think about that, you sit and wait potentially for the opening number to ease you in.

This is why I want my solo performance to have a screen set up, for the audience to watch my every move before entering the stage. I am hoping for this to be done through live streaming. A 3-5 minute account showing the finishes touches of me getting ready.

Why do I want to do this? Honestly I don’t know. It’s risky tech wise, especially in terms of making sure no one disrupts the video as it’s live. In addition, I am hoping for a run through later this week, to see if the time scale I have allowed will be achievable, and the image projected successful.

Earlier in this module I looked into a practitioner called Orlan. Although her work may seem far from what I am to achieve, her ideas on the construction of the human body and how she intends to alter it is fascinating.

Orlan creates sculptures, photographs, performances, videos, and videogames & augmented reality, using scientific and medical technics like surgery and biogenetic. After researching more about her, I discovered that her aim is not to attain commonly held standard of beauty, but to raise questions about the status of the body in society.

This had helped my performance progress due to my choice to dress as half woman half man. I am wanting to raise questions and evoke thoughts and opinions from the audience during the performance, much like Orlan in her pieces.

Orlan’s controversial pieces takes power over the impacts of modern art to challenge audience’s beliefs and oppose the social pressures that burden the female population.

More recently Orlan has expressed herself through Carnal art, this is known to be;

A self-portrait in the classical sense, yet realized through the technology of its time. Lying between disfiguration and figuration, it is an inscription in flesh, as our age now makes possible. No longer seen as the ideal it once represented, the body has become an ‘modified ready-made’.

 

 

For further information and to see more of her work I have attached a link to her website, and online short documartary.

 

http://www.orlan.eu/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ1Ph-Pprj4

 

 

Following on from my last blog post, I have decide to change the way the audience is sat. This will not only benefit them by allowing them to see the screen clearly, but will also allow full focus to be on me when I am performing. In earlier posts I spoke about the audience being sat facing each other, with each bank of seating in a different light; either blue or pink. Furthermore I have decide to now have the audience sitting in a ‘v’ shape as seen below:

 

The lighting will still stand as before, continuing the ‘game show’ theme of boy verses girl. However not having the audience facing each other will hopefully draw their attention on to my performance.

My performance will be performed in Studio 2 at the Lincoln performing arts centre. The back section of the room will be sectioned off by a black curtain, allowing a more intimate a square performing space. The door will be located behind where the audience is sat, so as they walk in, their focus is already fixed to the large screen directly in front of them.

The lighting will start white/house lights, to ensure that the audience don’t feel obliged to sit in the seats typically associated with their gender.