It’s the final blog post, and its time to share my overall experiences, struggles and outcomes.

Over the process it is safe to say my show has changed dramatically. Although aggression and feminism have always been main themes, the performance style has been altered numerous times.

Firstly I would like to talk about the final performance.

A show based on the ideas that women should be perceived in a certain way, this can be regarding looks, ad/or personality. I started the performance sat on a chair, In a red dress, heeled shoes, curled hair and makeup. As the show began I spoke about the dangers of society and what putting pressures such as these stated above  on women can do to their self-esteem.

The show followed an easy pattern; music, section of dialogue; music; section of rap/poem, and so on. This was a deliberate decision, to help make my performance informative but also visually appealing, with numerous different elements, such as poems, raps and facts. Not only did this help the story come together, it also divided the performance, creating clear sections in which I could talk about different ways of feminism or aggression can be shown.

Although the idea for my show had appeared quite early on, is still was reluctant to show anyone. I had performed it half-heartedly in front of flatmate and timed each section so I knew where to add more, however had only practised fully in the mirror while no one was watching. Probably the worst decision as I become incredibly nervous as the audience entered. However, to my relief all went well! Audience member laughed at sections, and some even cried at others. I never thought my script was moving, but I think the passion and rawness that come across made the overall viewing experience more momentous.

The subject, whether it be personal or not to audiences, still had elements that everyone could relate to. One of the most frequent comments I received was the love for the rap about my mum. Understandably most people have a strong connection with their parent, especially mother, so that section of the performance was easily relatable. Another was the exposing of my body and removing of makeup. Many people that came to watch the performance would know that these two elements were extremely difficult for me to perform to a crowd. However I wanted this module to push me out of my comfort zone, found in comedy and challenge me to a new type of theatre. Again sections like these allow you to become vulnerable, and the audience begin to appreciate it.

So did I enjoy it?

I loved every moment. From the quivering knees at the begging to the overwhelming amount of support at the end, I can honestly the those 9 minuets 30 something seconds amounted to one of the best university performances I could have devised.

I enjoyed it for myself more so than for the consumption of others, and I learned a lot. Having a performance that is personal and simple yet so effect is the best way to go. I knew from the off set I wasn’t going to over complicate my piece with tech, strobes and fog machines, and being able to perform such a stripped back show, containing only two lighting states and 5 music changes was the way forward.

Would I change anything?

Probably not. I surprised myself. If anything I would read over the script a few more times, voice recording myself so I could listen back to it, ensuring I wasn’t speaking to fast. However in reality I think that worked. The stumbling over words and breathing heavily while expressing emotions made the while performance seem real, not staged and from the heart.

altogether i feel i created a story personal to me which others can take away and do with it what they please.

Its tech day and my show is finally coming together. All of the sections have been linked together through the used of music, which I will be testing out today. I have also come up with an easy lighting plan, ensuring that the stage looks dressed and fitting with the theme. I have decided to start with a spot light on a chair, meaning that automatically the audiences attention is drawn and held at myself.  The lights then fade up to a soft pink, where they stay for the majority of the time, and finally reverting back to the spot at the end.

I have chosen this simple set up to not detract from the action of the performance, and keeping with the simple set and costuming. Furthermore I also thought it was a nice touch to go back to the the original lighting state at the end, being bel to show a full circle, and rounded progression of the piece.

This time was also used for me to mp out my setting arrangement, something which has changed from week to week. Now, due to the amount of people coming to watch it makes sense to put chairs in three rows, all equally facing the stage area.

We then tried the voice recordings I had made, taking stimulus from the poem seen earlier in this blog. Only the first section was used, but it incorporated  a overlapping effect of different voices. This is significant of the ‘voices in your head’. Society telling you what you should and should not do, and dress. all together, it sounded powerful, and intentions were clear. I only hope that the audience understand that i have used the voice over for this specific effect.

After the feedback from my first slam poem about my mum, I have decided to write another.

I would like it to be performed before the initial poem because this one is going to be about myself, and my journey. Although the rap wont be sad, I would like it to be personal to me, raw and hitting. This way I hope everyone can enjoy it and relate it to there own personal experiences.

Here goes:

Let me break it down,

My names Alice Chattaway as most of you know and with a surname like that don’t think I’m laying low.

I speak my mind and I know where I stand, start pissing me off, calling me names, just bare in mind that I can do the same.

People seem to think that women should be silent, but I’m speaking up for this gender and I’m not getting violent,

I’m not using my hands, just speaking my mind. Lets all chill, just being cruel to be kind.

Feeling the frustrations of having so much to say, yet time after time it’s me who has to pay.

Just because I played with Barbie dolls don’t think I can fit into the moulds that society has given us today.

So next time you take notes of the fucks I give, ask yourself a question…

Is she really that aggressive?

Every show needs good music!

Music plays an integral part of shows, creating atmosphere and tone that the actors themselves may find tricky to do.

I want my show to contain upbeat music so the audience will know, to give some light comedy throughout. During these musical interludes I intend to either put on or take off clothes, to give a visual aide for the progression of the show.

I have deliberately chosen songs about omen and there appearance, all of which are sung by men. Further emphasising the traditional ways of society, what women should look like, what they should wear or not and how they should or shouldn’t act. All of which reinforced buy male singers.

 

Songs I am interested in:

 

Elvis Presley – Burning love

Franki Valli – You’re just to good to be true/ can’t take my eyes off of you

Toms Jones – She’s a lady

Manfred man – Do a diddy diddy dum diddy do

 

At the end of my show I would like to have a contrasting piece of music or poem, helping to change the mood or the piece and reiterate the straits of being a woman in todays society. I am also considering taking my makeup and exposing my bare face (something which I would not normally do in public) to show the fact that women are still the same under the cover of makeup, ‘girly’ clothes and perfect hair.

Following from my own poem, I thought about what other people in similar situations may have been through. Not only did I look into the aggression side of things, but I also took an interest in feminism, and the ideal woman.

The poem below, sums up the pressures to look a certain way and to fit in with generic gender stereotypes. It touches upon the effects that societies pressure can have on people, and encourages us to break out of the mould and be different.

 

“Love the color (sic) pink
Always wear dresses and skirts
Be small and take up as little space as possible
Speak only in soft genital tones
Grow your hair long and wear it down
Paint your nails
Always shave your legs and arm pits
And cover your neck
Always blend and never draw attention to yourself

But Why?

Because you can’t give anyone reason to doubt you
You must drench yourself in femininity
Strip away all masculinity
Otherwise, no one will believe you’re a woman.

Woman I already am, and if anyone misgenders (sic) me, I will correct them, as anyone else would.

But you are not a cis woman, and you will never have that privilege
You are trans, so you only have that right if you prove your femininity
For you if you are not feminine you will not pass,
and if you do not pass then you are not a woman
Because you are only a woman if others perceive you to be.

Well one thing is for sure then
I do not “pass”!
For to pass is to mislead
To pass is to deceive
No I do not “pass” as female, I am female!
For I have nothing to prove to either myself or to the world.

So take your fear elsewhere
For I have words to say
And I will not be silenced by your fear

For, I will wear flannels with high heels.
Floral dress and black combat boots
I will kiss girls in public
I will let my expression flow unbound by your “masculinity” or “femininity”
And female I will always remain

For gender fluidity is not a cisgender privilege
But a right I will not be denied”

(Spencer, 2012)

 

Most of this poem would not relate to the topic first hand, however certain lines stand out. The opening section reminds me of a ‘quick fire response’ if you were asking the public to define a woman. Potentially I would like this section to be voice recorded and over lapped in order to create a montage effect.

 

 

 

Spencer, A. (2012) Not Passing. Hello Poetry. Available from https://hellopoetry.com/poem/186608/not-passing/ [accessed 28^th April 2017].